Friday, December 9, 2011

Sour Cream and Chocolate Chip Cake and Another Bad Day

I had bought some sour cream a while back to use in a cake but then seemed to have lost the recipe. Then I sort of forgot about the sour cream until I realize it was expired. By a little. So I quickly searched for a recipe, found one that also used up some leftover chocolate chips, and voila. This recipe called for mixing the chocolate chips with cinnamon before layering into the cake batter. Pretty interesting flavors.

I hate to sound like a complainer and I know I should just let all this stuff roll off of me and move on but I just feel so down, I'm hoping writing it down will help a bit. Better here than Facebook, fewer (or no) audience means I won't sound so pathetic in public. I do feel like this blog is like a diary now.

Anyway, the day started off a bit inauspiciously when I left the house 2 minutes late and missed the bus by a hair. It drove by me as I was waiting for the light to turn so I can cross the street and get to the bus stop.

Then it went like this:
  • Already behind in work, got tasked with another strategic initiative that'll take a lot of thinking and time
  • Continued to deal with underperforming staff
  • Was getting ready to leave work, got held up by a very talkative staff person who doesn't seem to take to social cues
  • A friend seems to have written me off
  • Instead of leaving work 10 minutes early as planned, left right at 5pm, only to realize in the stairwell that I left my iPod on my desk, had to run back to retrieve
  • 2-hour drive from Santa Monica to Beverly Hills en route to Burbank, only to change course and head directly to Hollywood because I was running out of time to meet my friend
  • Another 1 hour drive to Hollywood, only to be less than a mile from my destination (Pantages Theater) to get turned away due to a street closure, got directed away from Hollywood and Vine
  • Gave up, texted friend and told her to go in without me, which meant I completely missed seeing "Wicked", a show for which we had season tickets (and a show that I LOVE and was looking forward to seeing tonight)
  • Wanted to eat something good but couldn't focus enough to figure out what I wanted to eat and where to go, so just decided to eat at home
  • Decided to make side trip to grocery store, encountered traffic even though it was after 8 pm and going opposite normal traffic patterns
  • UCLA men's soccer lost in the semi-finals
There were some highlights in the day:
  • Hallway caroling at work was fun (although I seemed to have gotten shushed for being out of tune)
  • UCLA women's volleyball swept defending champs Penn State to avance to the Elite Eight (although Penn State was ranked only #8)
Tomorrow can only be better. I just wish I felt better equipped to deal with it all. I know part of it is biological/hormonal (that time of the month) but I just feel like I don't have it in me to deal with all this right now. I just want to curl up and not wake up. But then I think of people I know who deal with so much more (family, children, parents, work, health etc.) and I feel like such a loser for letting all this get me down.

I know I'm in a phase where I feel so down that I'm prone to being overly dramatic and seeing everything in a negative light. But it's so hard to snap out of it, even though I know logically that's what makes the most sense.

Well, writing has certainly helped a bit. Hopefully sleep will help as well.

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